Subh-e-Zulmat (Faiz Ahmed Faiz’s Subh-e-Azaadi)

Faiz Ahmed Faiz wrote in ‘Subh-e-Azaadi’ (The Dawn of Freedom),

“Yeh daagh daagh ujaalaa, yeh shab gazidaa seher

Woh intezaar tha jiska, yeh woh seher to nahin”

(This stained, pitted first-light, this day-break, battered by night,

this dawn that we all ached for, this is not that one.)

and I know he wrote of partition and Hindustan but all I can think of

is how he just wrote a lament of an abandoned heart in the morning.

He wrote of quiet realisation that pretends to be bereft of desperation

He wrote of desperation that met his (my) eyes in dawn’s first sun

He wrote of disappointment—in the self—for not having seen the truth before it settled

He wrote in eulogy of the partition that seemed our own (my own) but was orchestrated in the garbs of concealed consent

(Am I allowed to say no if I do not have what yes takes?

Am I allowed choice when my choice was made for me before I even knew that the British were not my friends?)

This dawn was not supposed to be this way, to come this way, to meet me in reflections of tears that line my eyes

This dawn was supposed to be a win, I was supposed to be a bard, this was not supposed to be a eulogy

How do we undo the partition? (but isn’t it only on paper? Does a line drawn mean Hindustan is divided, that you aren’t mine and I am not yours anymore?)

this is not the dawn we had been waiting for

This dawn is an echo of so many dawns I have seen before and so many dawns I am yet to see

But I look around, and everything seems different and duller

As if even the sun is ashamed to look me fully in the eyes.

I know that years down the line, I would’ve maybe forgotten about this first dawn

I would’ve basked in the glory of uncountable morning suns

That my mourning would seem to be a respite of a bygone era

(And we would have been partitioned for years, you are now yours and I am my own)

But this subh-e-azaadi would still keep knocking on my doors

“Suna hai, ho bhi chukaa hai firaaq-e-zulmat-o-noor” 

(We have heard that the darkness had separated from the light)

But my dawn seemed darker, and my sun seemed duller

Even though they still say it was a newer, brighter dawn.